Childishness or Foolishness?

So, I snuck in a nap with Esther on Wed. afternoon and she came in to wake me up with her favorite "Dori" (Dora the Explorer) pillow in tow. This pillow has been extra special to her and the contents are like a foam stuffed foam covered pillow that make it extra squishy. I'm sure the picture tells the story before I get there. I layed there with my eyes closed for a while longer while she played quietly at the side of the bed, as she often does with some toys I keep in a bin in my room. She crawled back up in bed and I peaked at her and thought..."oh my...she has been attacked by shaving cream... in chunks?" as it was strewn throughout her hair and all over her body. I popped up to this mess on the side of the bed. At first, I was enraged!! She had dissected her Dori pillow and spread its micro contents all over the floor! She sat there looking at me like, "Why are you so uptight Mom? This was way cool!" After 5 deep breaths, I went and got the camera and decided I better document the moment as later I knew it would be funny:O)

It took quite a while for Ess and I to clean up while singing the clean up song. We are still carrying portions of foam fiber on parts of us each day as the vacuum could not get the tiniest pieces, as they stick to the carpet, but love to jump on your socks.

So, what is my point to this story? Esther's look said it all. For her, this was an act of childishness. She did not understand her explorations were destroying her pillow and making a huge mess. To discipline her for her actions would have no fruit in her life. Of course, I talked to her about taking care of her things, but her biggest natural consequence was no more Dori pillow. Will she learn from it? Maybe...maybe not?

Discerning foolish actions in a child can be a tougher matter. Did they do something they knew they shouldn't do? Were they aware enough that they should have thought something through and made a wiser choice? These are decisions we parents have to make every day in determining how to discipline our children. These are the opportunities we have to help our children learn to make wise choices instead of foolish ones. I know I have made mistakes in disciplining too hard on choices that were truly childish and in the converse, gone too light on choices that were foolishness and needed harsher discipline.

Prov. 22:6 "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it."

1 Cor 13:11 "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became an [adult], I put childish ways behind me."

I reflected on Esther's whole incident and thought the Lord has to make those discipline choices with us as well. He does not error in His judgement of us, however, because He knows our heart. He knows when we are choosing our own way and when our hearts are rebellious. Sometimes He allows the natural consequence to be the teacher. Other times, in great love and mercy, He allows painful circumstances that humble us to the core.

Some may judge Him as a hammer thumping God who slams us for doing wrong. I do not see Him in this view. It takes alot of love to discipline and do it well! He asks us to put away our childish ways and become "grown ups"...He wants us to become whole and mature...just as we want that for our own kids.

Some day when we see Him face to face...there are many questions to ask about many things...but He says it will all be clear when we get there. For now, I will choose to TRUST in His choices for me...and hopefully not fuss and fume...as His door shutting and/or opening are always with my best interest in mind:O)

Clouds and Epiphany moments

So, the last time I went on a walk...I had a very personal convo. with the Lord...yesterday was no different. I switched to rollerblading this time as my knee is still hurting me from my last hike...bummer! So, there was a cool morning mist as I hit the rollerblade trail and within moments the clouds literally parted and the sun shone down on the pathway as I was rolling along...not unlike the two pictures. As I merrily rolled along, enjoying the beauty of the morning, the birds singing, people of all ages and abilities strolling along, the river beautifully glistening...the Lord spoke to my heart.
What is an epiphany? I thought the picture below captured it perfectly. It is that "a ha" moment when the clouds literally part in our human brain and we suddenly see things from God's perspective. I am writing about this moment here because I don't want to forget this day where the clouds literally did part and His light did shine through ever so brightly and for that small piece of time..."I got it." A glimpse from His perspective into my life, some of my choices, and some of the changes I believe He is prompting me to consider. I cannot write it all down yet as I am still pondering and praying and considering...but it was a sweet moment of knowing how much He loves me that He would personally speak to my heart in a way that I would "get it".

I will end with this scripture as it is one that struck me later as I was reading a book some friends and I are reading together. It ties in with my epiphany moment and has caused me to ponder these words that I had always interpreted in a different way until yesterday. Luke 14:34-35 "Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out."

Please pass the salt...

Knee replacements and Fab 40 updates...

So, my Pappy went in for a surgical procedure last week and then a trip to the ER mid week...so it has kept things hoppin' or crutchin' around here trying to help out and support as we have been his wheels, meals, and other deals. I am glad to report he is on the mend and things are starting to return to normal...whatever that means?!

So, I was supposed to update my Fab 40 list...I don't even know when now...so here it goes:

• Been reading my new version of my Bible consistently.



• 2 months with coffee dates with friend(s).



• Ordered 4 books on my "to read for fun" list, started 1.



• Climbed Badger 1x, blogged about it, may not do it again...my darn knee still hurts!



• Missed Chinese New Year celebration due to events listed above.



• Had a biggest Sandwich night...very fun!



• Wrote scriptures all over our hall way...kind of exilerating to write on one's walls:O)



• Bought 2 new face products...one burned...one I liked. Reminds me of a joke I once heard about hockey being so dangerous...too many "face-offs" in one game.



• Did a compass treasure hunt for Valentine's Day. Ruthie is very good with her directions.



• Have been recycling more...now do glass...taking milk jugs to another city. I even got a compliment from Rob...one day he said I was doing a nice job with my jugs!



• Language report of Chinese: know the body parts, know the colors and numbers, 10 verbs & 10 foods...on my way:O)



• Lost 2 lbs, but probably gained it back this weekend!

15/40 items addressed or completed...1 no go! Ready to start a new week!!

Matt's Care Package

So, we sent our second care pack to Matt. We were so blessed that New Day, his host home, sent several pics of him opening his care pack. Their comment at New Day was that "he just loved it!" Our time ticks along on our ad*ption time line...we have had to update and redo several steps due to new regs. Our most recent redo will bump us back another 6 weeks or so. We are still hoping for summer travel. The good news is that His timing is perfect and He is bigger than any obstacles! We have many things we are trying to figure out for decision making purposes regarding my job schedule, childcare, preschool...all which require decisions sooner than later. The only thing we can do is choose to trust Him as we wait and wonder. In the meantime, we pray for this sweet little guy whom we are told is speaking quite well in his native tongue and is a very sweet brother to his foster brother at home.



That look of concentration as Matt opens his package.

This one makes me chuckle because I just so wonder what he is thinking in his 3 year old mind? Like, "how did I get in there?" We made an identical one for Esther too. She loves it and carries it around all the time and talks about Matt.

In this photo, I think he is checking out a pic of Rob quite intently. I wrote him a letter explaining the different items in his package along with our pics. I think he is really checking out his future "Baba's" features.

Trusting while in the fog...

Today I went on a hike up a local ridge (one of my Fab 40 list) that was immersed in fog. It was a 1.4 mile hike with an 800 ft. elevation gain. My body is stiff at this moment like it was way more than that. I had a great chat with the Lord while on my hike. Here is what I heard about this life and our journeys as I ascended up this ridge into the fog.

• When you can only see a little ways in front of you...trust Him that He knows where you are going.
• Sometimes it's better not to see the top because then you don't know how far you have to go...that way you can concentrate better on putting one foot in front of the other.
• Do I slow down when the pitch is steep? And the path is full of rocks? Or do I keep trudging at the same pace exhausted and out of breath?
• Sometimes there is a false summit...it appears that way in the fog...don't stop there...complete the journey...finish well!
• The fog can be a little creepy at times...sort of that element of the unknown...where do my thoughts wander at times like this...to fear...or to His Blessed Assurance?

As I finished my hike and recovered with a yummy drink from Starbucks...I looked out and the ridge was completely out of the fog...not a hint. It made me think, like the picture below, that God's view from above is always crystal clear. He knows exactly where He taking us. I can trust in His timing and His path. The fog that may seem to inhibit me temporarily...is purposeful...and for my benefit. Even with that being said... I still can't wait until our view is crystal clear like His!

The Word on the wall..

So, tonight was the start of Word on the wall at Family Fellowship. I say "start" because we really don't plan on painting over it right away. Each person got to choose their own section of wall and could chose up to 3 scriptures that are meaningful to them. The kids thought is was pretty cool to be able to write on the wall. Ruthie told me I must be a pretty good Mom because this is the first time she has EVER written on the wall:O) That was nice...I'll keep that in mind for when I have those days where I feel like a not so great Mom. Esther's section of wall was by far the most filled in at the end. She did lots of patterns like you see above over and over and over...then added circles...then hand smears...and she liked the pencil sharpener to get her pencil ready to start over again. By the end, I thought it looked pretty cosmic...so I assigned her scripture as Gen 1:1

CJ chose two scripture passages...one from Joshua about leading and the other from Luke about humility. He likes to write dark...so he may need some triple coats over his.

Evan, our other lefty, added some art work with his selections. He did one of my faves...Phil 4:13.

Ruthie has John 3:16, 17 memorized...so she decided on those.

Rob is probably the only one who could have written here due to his height. He picked another of my life verses from James 1:2...which will be a great one to see each time I go down the stairs.

I will tell you...since we have committed to Family Fellowship on Sunday evenings...it has been interesting to note the opposition that has come up...arguements, fussyness, things that seem more important. I believe for a family to unite and come together around God's Word and Fellowship time must be something the enemy hates. We will continue to persevere in His strength (Phil 4:13).

New Year...Ch*na style!

The kids are getting ready for Ch*n&se New Year at Matt's preschool. Decorations are going up for the big celebration. 2010 is the year of the Tiger. We have sent a package to him and are hoping it arrives before things shut down over there. This would be the biggest holiday there. We will be celebrating it on the home front as well...a big potluck dinner with a our ad*ption group and then attending the local event put on by a Ch*n&se Alliance.